By Beth Carroll, Associate Pastor of Discipleship

Challenging and unstable times remind us why we need Advent. Though we might feel as if we are being catapulted into the unknown, Advent reminds us that we are tethered to the all-loving, ever-present Trinity. I wrote this essay for The Twelve a few years ago about my personal discovery in the life-giving grounding made available through my own Advent rituals. I hope it inspires hope and reassurance that we are always held.

There shall come forth a shoot from the stump of Jesse, and a branch from his roots shall bear fruit. Isaiah 11:1

The lie of divorce is that you lose only a spouse. But divorce is the gift that keeps on taking. You lose his family. You lose the sacredness of memories together. You lose your home and the artifacts that make it a home. You lose financial security. You lose the emotional security of your children. But one loss few anticipate is the loss of tradition. Nothing highlights this more than the first Christmas after a divorce. Jesus might be the reason for the season, but family is the tree that bears the fruit of that season. What happens when the family tree is severed in half?

Something new is needed to burst through the brokenness. That first holiday season, I bought an Advent wreath on a whim. Like holy smelling salts, the fragrance of the evergreen branches called out life, when all I knew was death. The wreath’s elegant candles pointing skyward needed me to ignite them if they were to be a light in my darkness. I took them home from the farmers’ market that cold Thanksgiving week, placed them on my kitchen table, and introduced them to my curious children. Visions of playing with matches danced in their heads.

The first night of Advent we gathered at the dinner table. We said a prayer. We read about the angel visiting Mary. We lit our first Advent candle and let the dim, warm light fill the darkness of the room and our hearts. Christmas would never be the same.