Amid my parish nurse experiences, I have been prompted in many ways to pay more attention to the skill and gift of listening. I heard about generous listening in early worship, discussed compassionate listening with Congregational Care and Health Ministry, witnessed examples of it at REST support group and have had many personal situations to tend to this skill.
Listening is something every one of us can do to help friends, family, colleagues and even strangers. We can help people empty their heart. Practicing the gift of listening gives the other person a chance to suffer less, to express themselves, feel valued, accepted and understood. Listening is an accepting and non-judgmental invitation for others to be themselves, without any worry about disapproval. It helps people release their emotions not suppress them.
Compassionate, active listening is more than just hearing what is being said. The goal is to understand the feelings and views of the other person. This can help nurture a strong relationship and can be very healing. It can allow someone to move in a positive direction.
Listening requires emotional strength, patience, openness and a real desire to understand. Don’t try to fix the problem or give advice unless specifically asked. When we’re hurting we need empathy, not advice. Be patient and don’t get frustrated if someone can’t say what they feel right away. Silence and patience help people give voice to their feelings.
“Listen with curiosity. Speak with honesty. Act with integrity. The greatest problem with communication is we don’t listen to understand. We listen to reply. When we listen with curiosity, we don’t listen with the intent to reply. We listen for what’s behind the words.“ by Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart
~Ginger Clark, R.N., Hope Church Nurse