Anne Duinkerken, Youth Ministry Director & Restorative Circles Facilitator
It has been more than a year now that I have been a part of the Restorative Circles group. I went through training a year and a half ago to be a facilitator. Pastor Jill and I had hoped and believed that this would be a process that we could use in our work with the youth of Hope Church.
That opportunity came up last January in our annual Fish Club retreat at Cran Hill Ranch. For those of you who haven’t experienced this amazing weekend, I will give you a quick overview of what we do. We usually leave Hope Church on a Friday evening (often a snowy evening) and make the hour and a half trip to Cran Hill Ranch located just outside Big Rapids, Michigan. We stay in the Stone House, which has three large bunk rooms, a fully equipped kitchen, and living area. When we arrive, we unpack our vehicles and get settled in. After some get-to-know-you games and snacks, we end the evening with devotions around a theme; this past year the theme was “Reconciliation”. Bed time is 11:00 p.m.
Saturday morning we rise by 8:00 a.m. We all have times and tasks assigned for helping with cooking and clean-up of meals. After breakfast we gather for devotions, then head out for horseback riding (unless it’s below zero degrees!). In the afternoon we usually go snow tubing down an amazing hill (unless there is no snow, then we head to the game room for tournaments), then we return to the Stone House for hot chocolate and devotions. After dinner we take a hayride, with lots of storytelling and singing. The hayride is usually followed by snacks and a movie, and lights out by 12:00 a.m. In the morning we enjoy breakfast, clean up and pack up, then gather for a worship service. We arrive back at church by 12:00 p.m.
As you can see, this is a wonderful, intense, fun-filled time for our youth and sponsors. We usually have between seven and 18 youth, along with three or four sponsors attending. But, along with all the good, it is a lot of time spent interacting with each other, and sometimes those times are challenging. Different personalities, expectations, ages, and social interactions sometimes clash.
This past January an issue came up with four of our youth. Three of them were getting along fine, with the fourth was feeling left out, sad, and lonely. I gathered with the four of them and we began an informal Restorative Circle process.
In allowing each person to be heard, and making sure they were understood, they began to understand what the others were feeling. There was no blame and I wasn’t there to give solutions, just to listen and make sure everyone was heard. They were amazing! After only about 10 minutes, they all were anxious to start anew and be aware of including all. They were generous and compassionate, and funny! We checked in with each other a few times for the rest of the weekend, and they were all feeling good. Each one of these youth felt good about being able to face a problem, talk honestly with each other, and come up with new ways of interacting with each other, all on their own!
If you would like to contact a Restorative Circle, please call the Hope Church office for a list of facilitators.